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I am the author of the Goodacity blog, a journalist, and a translator. For 16 years, I have worked in professional journalism, contributing to regional and national publications, both in print and online media. I have written reports, conducted interviews, reviews, articles on cultural, social, and charitable topics, as well as materials in the style of "solution journalism" and communication materials.
My focus is on creating interesting and exclusive content. Journalism, to me, is primarily about human stories, to which I always find the key, empathize with the people I write about, and love all my heroes. Journalism, to me, means telling people about what truly matters to them, informing and inspiring them. It is not just a job, but a way of life, just like for all those who dream, create, and are inspired by it.
So, if you are looking for stories that inspire and motivate, that instill faith and help find meaning while believing in goodness, read my stories on the Goodacity website.
I am a manager of cultural affairs and a project manager with over 14 years of experience at United Thinkers. I have participated in the organization of numerous successful social and charitable projects and have implemented informational campaigns and communication cases.
As a marketing manager, I have been involved in organizing marketing and sociological research, working with media and partners, developing advertising and marketing strategies, as well as planning and implementing advertising campaigns.
I believe in the power of goodness and I am happy that as part of the Goodacity project, I can contribute to its expansion. I believe in the power of words and in the fact that communication can help make the world a better place. I know how, where and when to speak in order to be heard. And when you are heard, you can change the world!
THE PATH OF THE MESSENGER OF GOOD
Iryna Lisovetska
Over the past year and a half, each of us has experienced a wide range of emotions. We cried for the fallen and rejoiced at the liberated territories. We lost and regained what was ours, found joy and showed empathy… When every day is filled with endless emotional roller coasters, when the number of tragedies per unit of time becomes overwhelming, and we often feel exhausted and confused, the skills of supporting ourselves and each other become vital.
Psychologist Iryna Lisovetska from Chernihiv has been providing professional assistance to those in need since the early days of the war, primarily to children and adults who have experienced psychologically traumatic events during the war, lost their loved ones, or have been forced to relocate. Today, we speak with Ms. Iryna about words of support during war, how to overcome the war within ourselves, and how to help ourselves and others.
Psychological assistance during war: how it all began
Instead of an office, a bomb shelter
– Mrs. Iryna, you are a volunteer psychologist with extensive experience, as you have been working with combatants, their families, and children who have been forced to relocate due to the war since 2014.
– When the first displaced people from Luhansk and Donetsk regions arrived in Chernihiv region in the early autumn of 2014, I, together with a group of psychologists, started working with children from these regions and the adults who accompanied them. Since 2014, our group of psychologists has been providing psychological support to mobilized individuals from the entire region, conducting individual consultations and training on how to act in emergency situations, how to cope with panic attacks, and how to break free from a state of shock. I conducted sessions with combatants based on my original program called “Reboot,” where they learned to stabilize their state, understand the condition of others, and be a support to their loved ones and comrades who are currently at war or returning from there. I worked with families who lost their loved ones in the war and participated in psychological support projects for the families of combatants.
– In the early days of the full-scale Russian invasion, you also started helping people, even in the bomb shelter…
– When the full-scale Russian invasion began, my husband, a combatant, joined the defense of the city. As for me, I decided that I wanted to help others and support people who were in panic because they didn’t understand what was happening. Psychological assistance during war is essential to help children and adults endure those terrifying days… I can’t say that I didn’t panic myself, but through years of work and communication with people who came from Eastern Ukraine and had experience living in areas where active combat was taking place, I was somewhat prepared for what people were feeling and experiencing.
On the first day of the war, I called the director of School 35, Natalia Anatoliivna, and suggested creating a support group for adults and children based at the school to provide support during the first days of the war. The director said, “Come to the school, they will give you a room, and you can work there.” However, when I arrived, I learned that about a hundred children with their parents and adults seeking refuge from constant shelling were staying in the school’s basement. So, my “office” became the basement… I came every day, worked with the children, explained to them how they react to stress, where they feel this stress in their bodies, and conducted various techniques to stabilize their psychoemotional state. I brought many coloring books with me because children needed a way to “release” their emotions. I even made a small improvised target, wrapped some balls, and the children played out their emotions, trying to hit the target with the balls. I also talked to adults about how children can react and what they, as adults, can do to help the child recover. I discussed the importance of words of support during war, which are crucial to say to children.
What will remain in memory
Overcoming the war within us
– In the past year and a half, there is hardly a person whose psyche hasn’t been affected and changed by the war…
– When the active combat operations ended, I participated in a project with the MART public organization, providing legal and psychological assistance to adults and children who were in the occupied territories of Chernihiv region. We visited many different villages, both those affected by active combat and those under occupation. The lawyers worked with adults, and I worked with the children, conducting individual consultations, group sessions, and sessions with parents.
If a person has experienced a traumatic event, they are likely to remember certain sounds, smells, or visual images associated with that experience. When they encounter sensory reminders, known as “triggers,” they may feel anxiety, restlessness, or panic. There are many such triggers around, and they vary for each individual… Children who heard shelling are afraid of thunderstorms and thunder, sometimes even rain, as it reminds them of “Grad” downpours… Even fire and smoke can become triggers – in Novoselivka, where many houses were damaged, parents told me that when they lit a fire to cook food, the children would start crying, and their own hearts would start beating faster. The smoke reminded them of the fires after the shelling…
Even children who are now returning from abroad or relatively safe regions of Ukraine see destroyed buildings and experience these triggers, and we need to explain and work through them together with them and their parents. There should be an exchange of information between parents and psychologists to provide the most effective help to the child.
– Have more Ukrainians been seeking help from psychologists since the start of the full-scale invasion? Has people’s attitude towards the work of psychologists changed?
– There is currently a high demand for the work of psychologists in society. I remember how an elderly grandmother came to us in a village saying, “Let me see a psychologist in person,” and we laughed… If in the past, in small settlements, there was a partial belief that psychologists were someone to be feared or embarrassed about, or someone one could do without, the attitude has completely changed now. When I traveled to villages in Chernihiv region, I noticed that people are not ashamed to ask for help if something is bothering them. They want to communicate, share their concerns, talk about their emotional state and fears. And when they receive support and advice, they thank us, saying, “You know, I feel much better now, and why was I afraid to seek help from a psychologist before…”
Social attitudes have changed. If a mother comes with her child, she doesn’t say, “Here, my child has these problems, work with them,” but she says, “Work with US.” And we work together as a team of three so that the mother can better understand what is happening with the child and how she can provide assistance to the child to help end this traumatic experience more quickly.
The Power of Thought
– Nowadays, it is so important for all of us to both hear and speak words of support during the war… However, people often do not know how to express support, gratitude, or sympathy correctly – they don’t know what to say to a wife whose husband is currently at the frontlines, how to support people who have lost their homes due to the war… What are the things that should definitely be avoided in conversations with war-affected individuals, and what can be healing words?
– Parents should understand that children primarily mimic their behavior. It is crucial for children to hear from their parents: “I am here for you,” “I will take care of you,” “I will do everything possible to support you.” These are very important words addressed to children. If a child is anxious, it is important to normalize it. One can say: “We all feel anxious, it is a normal feeling. But we will cope with these circumstances.” It is important for children not to feel ashamed and to know that bravery is not the absence of fear but the ability to act despite it.
What are the expressions to avoid in conversations with those affected by the war? I can say to military wives who worry about their husbands, “I understand you very well” because my own husband is a participant in military actions, and he has been defending Chernihiv all this time. However, if my husband is not a soldier and not involved in combat, I should never say, “I understand you.” Such words can cause the other person to freeze, become annoyed, angry, or want to distance themselves.
It is very difficult to find words of support for those who have lost their loved ones because we are afraid – how will our words be received? We can say: “I am so sorry, but you can always turn to me for help. I will always be there for you if you need it.” However, only say “I will always be there” when you can truly dedicate your time to that person – so that these words are not just empty words.
If a child has lost someone close to them, we should not say to them, “You are now the eldest,” “You are now the head of the family,” “You are now taking the place of your father/brother/right-hand.” We should not impose such thoughts on them if the child does not express them or consider them themselves – because in doing so, we shift our responsibility onto the child’s shoulders. However, if a child tells me during a consultation, “Now I have to take care of my mom and younger brother,” we will agree with that because it can be a primary resource for the child, allowing them to endure and feel their significance when a loved one has passed away.
I cannot say to combatants, “I understand you,” because I am not a participant in combat. Even when I traveled to the villages of Yahidne, Novoselivka, Pavlivka, Mykhailo-Kotsiubynske, Trysviatska Sloboda after the de-occupation of Chernihiv region, people often asked, “Where were you this spring?” I would say, “I was here, in Chernihiv, and I did everything possible to help – we supported the defense, prepared food for our soldiers, helped volunteers collect humanitarian aid for our military hospital, took care of those who could not take care of themselves. Even the children at our 35th school made cards for the soldiers and the wounded in the hospital. We did everything possible… And when people learned about this, they opened up, and the level of trust was completely different – people were no longer ashamed to talk about their feelings, their state, their fears, and concerns…
– What is the source of stability for us, Ukrainians, and where do we find the strength to move forward?
– We are probably the only nation that has become so united and unbreakable thanks to adversity! And it is precisely through this empathy, readiness to help others that we save ourselves as well. Speaking from my own experience, no matter how bad I feel, there are always people I can help. When I work with children and they say, “I’m afraid to sleep, I have panic attacks, what should I do?” I ask them, “Who can you help?” And the child immediately starts to shift their focus – “I will draw a card for the soldiers, give water to the dogs in the yard, invite a boy who recently moved to our town to play…” Helping others gives a sense of inner strength. Last spring, while comforting children in the school basement during shelling (I still remember the words of a seven-year-old boy: “It’s a pity I’m small. If I were an adult, I would have taken up arms…”), I told them, “Let’s think about what we can do for our defenders right now – write them letters of support and gratitude, draw pictures.” They were engaged in these activities for several days, calming down and understanding that they were also doing something important and necessary. And when my husband brought a pot of rice porridge from the checkpoint, which our soldiers had prepared and handed over – you should have seen how eagerly the children ate that porridge! Because it was a gift, a treat from the military – and it tasted so good to them that no dessert in the world could compare to the taste of that porridge…
Sometimes people ask me, “Is it normal that a child is always playing war, and we have trenches all over the yard?” I say, “It’s normal, they are trying to mimic the behavior of those people who are important to them today. Children imitate their heroes – our soldiers, especially if one of their relatives is also a hero… And digging trenches can be redirected into a more productive direction, especially if there is a garden near the house.”
Currently, as a crisis psychologist, I collaborate with the charity foundation “Voices of Children,” which has been providing free psychological assistance to children and their parents since 2015. Starting from March 1st, we have established a center in Chernihiv, where four psychologists and their coordinator are working. We collaborate with schools in the city and conduct sessions with children there. There is a space called “Vilna” (Free) in the Palace of Children and Youth, where you can sign up for individual consultations with children and parents. Join our Telegram channel or bring your children to group sessions, workshops, and creative events at the 12th and 28th schools – every day except Saturday and Sunday.
We are all human beings. We all have our traumatic experiences. We can be afraid. We can worry. We can cry. But when we understand what is happening to us, what influences our behavior, and when we know how to help ourselves, we not only help ourselves but also become helpers for others. The techniques I teach children in individual and group sessions – for self-soothing, expressing emotions, shifting attention – they later share with their parents, friends, acquaintances. The military also share this knowledge with their comrades and thus help not only themselves but others as well. I am confident that all the challenges we are facing now will make us stronger. And the strength we gain by fortifying our resilience now will be needed even after victory – because it will allow us to revive and create the future!